Giving up today. Running out of options. Destined for mediocrity, which sinks me deeper into depression. The more depression, the more I want to drink or smoke weed. My moral compass jittering. Staring at the wall. Letting time pass and wasting away. Going through the motion to keep my soul from atrophy-ing but maybe it’s just too late. Adderall not really helping. Makes me poop, melancholy, and thirsty. But losing my drive and ambition. What’s the point in anything? Not looking to be saved anymore. Losing the drive to make sense of things. I’ve accepted that nothing makes sense to me. Philosophy is just a contradiction and a way someone justifies his bad behavior.
Thank God for porn.
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